I've always heard "Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer", but today, it seems you can't tell them apart. It's mind-blowing how things, particularly people, can change so quickly and unexpectedly. One minute, you are friends, then something happens, and they're not the person you thought they were. It's so disappointing. Especially when the change that happens causes the person to hurt you. Hurt you in ways they don't even know. Truth is, though, they don't care what happens to you. They are only worried about themselves.
In case you can't tell, I am referring to someone. Actually, plural someones. Ha. I usually don't call people out like this, but I don't care right now. I'm not going to tell exactly what is going on right now, but I can tell you this- People aren't always who they seem to be. They will ruin your life and reputation all for their own pleasure, pride, and frankly because they have nothing else to do. Even over something as dumb as assumptions. My grandmother always told me "if you didn't see it with your own eyes, don't invent it with your mouth." I always kinda brushed it off, but lately, that has never been truer. It's funny how people will twist situations to make it seem like their thoughts aren't in the wrong. You can't really trust anyone.
I'm beyond ready to move back to Tuscaloosa. All my friends there left their drama and immaturity in high school. The recent situation caused a lot of tears and lost friendships because of stupid drama and jealousy. I'm not a dramatic person. I try my best to stay away from it, and yet somehow, I always get dragged into it when I come back to Jemison. I wish things had played out differently in the situation I'm facing now, but it's over and done with. There's nothing we can change now. There were things said that will never be forgotten. Things were done that will effect me for a long time. And if y'all are reading this (y'all know who y'all are), I'm sorry things ended up the way they are. I'm sorry I believed y'all wouldn't hurt me and y'all actually cared about me. I'm also not "scared" to respond to you when you try to get in touch with me; I just have nothing to say to you right now. It will take me awhile to forgive y'all for what happened, but I can't right now. But, I will forgive you. I forgive you because God has forgiven me. I will be praying for y'all.
And to everyone else reading, sorry this is kind of confusing and emotional, but I had to vent publicly somehow. Anyways, now that I've written about that, that's the end of it. No more about that, let me update you on life, since it's been awhile :)
I am beyond ready to move to Tuscaloosa. Me and Kelsey have a 2 bedroom apartment! And I'm so excited. It's gonna be adorable. I've never been so excited to get kitchen appliances in my life. :) Also, this weekend is my home church's youth beach retreat. I'm so excited. I'm a team leader this year, along with Kelsey, Ashlyn and Kyle. Vince is doing recreation. Speaking of which, we are doing unbelievably amazing. He's such a great guy. :)
That's about it really. Jemison is just boring, haha. So until next time... :)
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Friday, June 15, 2012
A letter to Satan
Dear (not so dear) Satan,
Why are you so obsessed with me lately? Seriously, do you not have anything better to do? The past few days, you have been pounding me with temptations that you know I will fall into and feeding me lies that I should know aren't true. I'm not good enough. I deserve to be hurt. I'm not worthy. You're a disappointment to everyone. You'll never live up to the expectations of your loved ones. God doesn't even think you deserve anything He's blessed you with.You're a terrible friend; you don't deserve the You're not a good girlfriend. You're a horrible person in general. You deserve to be lonely your whole life. You sin constantly and God won't forgive you for all the things you've done wrong. There's too many to count and you are just a screw up.
Well, Satan, I'm here to tell you, BACK OFF. I'm a God-fearin', faithful servant of the Almighty. He told me He will never leave me. He told me I'm beautiful beyond all compare, so much so He is enthralled. (Psalm 45:11) He says I am more than my mistakes, failures and disappointments. I am strong through Him. I am strong enough to not believe the lies you tell me. God loves me unconditionally. I am good enough for Him. I'm worth it. Even when I do mess up and screw everything up, He still loves me just the same and fully forgives me. (2 Corinthians 5:18-19)There is NO sin I've committed that God's grace cannot cover. (2 Corinthians 12:9) NONE. God gave me a new life. I am His daughter and He is my father. (John 17:23) We have a relationship like no other, and nobody, not even you Satan, can come between us. (Romans 8:38-39) Though you come really close sometimes to fooling me into believing those lies, I never will. I know who I am. I am His. And that's way more than I'll ever be to you.
Love, (Matthew 5:44),
Lauchlan
Why are you so obsessed with me lately? Seriously, do you not have anything better to do? The past few days, you have been pounding me with temptations that you know I will fall into and feeding me lies that I should know aren't true. I'm not good enough. I deserve to be hurt. I'm not worthy. You're a disappointment to everyone. You'll never live up to the expectations of your loved ones. God doesn't even think you deserve anything He's blessed you with.You're a terrible friend; you don't deserve the You're not a good girlfriend. You're a horrible person in general. You deserve to be lonely your whole life. You sin constantly and God won't forgive you for all the things you've done wrong. There's too many to count and you are just a screw up.
Well, Satan, I'm here to tell you, BACK OFF. I'm a God-fearin', faithful servant of the Almighty. He told me He will never leave me. He told me I'm beautiful beyond all compare, so much so He is enthralled. (Psalm 45:11) He says I am more than my mistakes, failures and disappointments. I am strong through Him. I am strong enough to not believe the lies you tell me. God loves me unconditionally. I am good enough for Him. I'm worth it. Even when I do mess up and screw everything up, He still loves me just the same and fully forgives me. (2 Corinthians 5:18-19)There is NO sin I've committed that God's grace cannot cover. (2 Corinthians 12:9) NONE. God gave me a new life. I am His daughter and He is my father. (John 17:23) We have a relationship like no other, and nobody, not even you Satan, can come between us. (Romans 8:38-39) Though you come really close sometimes to fooling me into believing those lies, I never will. I know who I am. I am His. And that's way more than I'll ever be to you.
Love, (Matthew 5:44),
Lauchlan
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
The Bible says
my King is.the King of the Jews,
He's.the King of Israel,
He's.the King of righteousness,
He's.the King of the ages,
He's.the King of heaven,
He's.the King of glory,
He's.the King of Kings,
and He's.the Lord of Lords.
That's my King. I wonder, do you know him?
My King is a sovereign King.
No means of measure can define his limitless love.
He's enduringly.strong.
He's entirely.sincere.
He's eternally.steadfast.
He's immortally.graceful.
He's imperially.powerful.
He's impartially.merciful.
Do you know him?
He's.the greatest phenomenon
.that has ever crossed the horizon of this world.
He's.God Son.
He's.a sinner's savior.
He's.the centerpiece of civilization.
He's.unparalleled.
He's.unprecedented.
He is.the loftiest idea in literature.
He is.the highest personality in philosophy.
He is.the fundamental doctrine of true theology.
He's.the only one qualified to be an all-sufficient savior.
I wonder if you know him today?
He supplies strength.to the weak.
He's available.to the tempted and the tried.
He sympathizes.and He saves.
He strengthens.and sustains.
He guards.and He guides.
He heals.the sick.
He cleansed.the lepers.
He forgives.sinners.
He discharges.debtors.
He delivers.the captive.
He defends.the feeble.
He blesses.the young.
He serves.the unfortunate.
He regards.the aged.
He rewards.the diligent.
And He beautifies.the meek.
I wonder if you know him?
He's the key.to knowledge.
He's the wellspring.of wisdom.
He's the doorway.of deliverance.
He's the pathway.of peace.
He's the roadway.of righteousness.
He's the highway.of holiness.
He's the gateway.of glory.
Do you know him?
Well, His life.is matchless.
His goodness.is limitless.
His mercy.is everlasting.
His love.never changes.
His Word.is enough.
His grace.is sufficient.
His reign.is righteous.
And His yoke.is easy.
And His burden.is light.
I wish I could describe him to you.
He's.indescribable.
He's.incomprehensible.
He's.invincible.
He's.irresistible.
Well, you can't.get him out of your mind.
You can't.get him off of your hand.
You can't.outlive him,
And you can't.live without him.
The Pharisees couldn't.stand him,
But they found out they couldn't.stop him.
Pilate couldn't.find any fault in him.
Herod couldn't.kill him.
Death couldn't.handle him
And the grave couldn't.hold him.
That's my King, do you know him?
Monday, May 14, 2012
Sweet Summertime!
Summer is finally here!!! Hence why my blogging has been slacking a little... Jemison doesn't exactly have the best internet connection. Anyways, here's a little summary of things been going on since Dead Week...
- I'm officially a JUNIOR at the amazing University of Alabama! I'm so happy and proud of myself for being halfway done with college. Hard to wrap my mind around that I only have 2 more years here. :/ I love college and never want to leave.
- Vince turned 21 on May 3rd. We celebrated from May 3rd-May 6th, lol. The day after his birthday (Friday), me, him, AJ, Moo, Tyndall and Cody went to see his FAVORITE country artist, Brantley Gilbert at the Crawfish Boil. The next day, we had an all day pool party at his house. Sunday, me and him went to eat with his family...and I tried crawfish and alligator for the first time, and surprisingly liked both. :)
- I got a kitten! It's a "shim" because we aren't exactly sure what gender it is, haha...but shim's name is Katniss for now. She's gray and about the size of my hand. She is hyperactive. All the time running and jumping, and she just discovered she can bite and climb things. Needless to say, she is definitely a handful. Our other cats don't particularly like her...they hiss and just stalk her from afar.
- Vince got a puppy! Her name is Kimber, after a brand of gun...lol. Anyways, she's a Catahula with a little pit bull. She is sooooo sweet.
- I'm going to Orlando in like 2 weeks...I'm excited, but not. I'd be more excited if we weren't gone for 9 days. I can't handle my family that long.
That's it for now. Summer is pretty much lazy and wonderful so far. :)
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| Katniss! |
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| Kimber! |
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Compassion
Ever met those people who cry at everything? Like anything happy, sad, just any situation? Well, if you haven't, you actually have. I'm one of those. Yep, I am such an emotional person. I have a lot of compassion and sympathy for people. Which, usually is a good thing. Vince has told me before it's one of the things he loves about me. But, it really is kind of a hassle sometimes. I've stated in previous posts that I feel for people. Like whatever they feel, I feel. Which is biblically what we are supposed to do, but I feel I got too much compassion. Me and Julia cried watching Wife Swap the other day. WIFE SWAP. It's not supposed to be cry-worthy. But, I felt for the people in the situation. I feel like I do that with everything. I can't even watch certain music videos, because I'm bound to cry. Anyways, while I feel sometimes I have too much compassion, I am blessed to even feel it at all.
"Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."
-Romans 12:15
Anyways, here's some music videos bound to make you cry...or at least made me cry. If you just want to watch something sweet/sad, and just need to cry. Enjoy :)
Somebody's Hero - Jamie O'Neal
Never Gonna Be Alone - Nickelback
Letters From Home - John Michael Montgomery
Monday, April 23, 2012
Livin' la vida loca!
This is kind of a long post, so I apologize in advance, and if you read it all, thanks :)
This past week/weekend was so bad. There were some good parts, but overall, this was a terrible week. First, there was drama with me and Vince, but we fixed it. The weather has been cray cray, school is overloading, and sorority drama was reaching a boiling point. Luckily, I had a mini break with a WONDERFUL double date with Vince, AJ and Megan. We watched Hunger Games and ate at Ruby Tuesdays. Saturday night was ADX's spring formal. It was supposed to be a good ending to a bad week. But, the worst thing possible happened Saturday. To Daddy.
Daddy's medical history isn't exactly the best. He has such a weak immune system. So, I got a text Saturday around noon from Madison (my real sister) that just said "Called 911. Dad having chest pains". I didn't think much of it at first, since hospital visits are a frequent thing for him. So, I called Mama cause usually 911 isn't involved. She sounded calm, but just said Daddy was weed eating and came inside and fell to the floor with chest pains. Everyone was asleep, except Sawyer. Thankfully, Sawyer woke mama up, because apparently it was bad. So, anyways, Mama cut me off short cause the ambulance got there, but she told me it was probably a heart attack, and she'd call me later. I hung up with her.
A heart attack? That was not expected. I immediately burst into tears. I had sent Vince a text that said what happened, so he came over to console me. I was hysterical. (Props to my awesome roomie, Julia, for the spontaneous hug and making me laugh when it happened) Vince finally calmed me down, and I continued to text Madison about updates. She sent me a few pictures of Daddy on a stretcher, which is so typical of her. So, to get my mind off of things, bless his heart, Vince took me to eat Chinese and get some sweets. We got Chinese to go and ate at his house, and then Madi called me. She said it was a heart attack and it was bad. I started crying again. Vince hugged me til I stopped and kept reminding me people have heart attacks all the time, and he'd be ok.
Since formal was that night, I figured I was probably gonna miss it and be at the hospital. Mom texted me around 2, and said "don't miss formal...have fun. Dad will be ok." If anyone knows my mom, you can't really argue with her. I then sent an email to my ADX sisters telling them what happened and not to bring it up at formal. I didn't want people to worry about how I was and not have fun. So, with the help of Julia, I fixed my hair and makeup and all the formal stuff. I couldn't help but worry about what was happening to Daddy. I was obsessively checking Mama's facebook to see if there were any updates about what was going on, but there wasn't really anything. So, we went to formal. I had a blast. Of course, I couldn't help but check my phone, but nothing new, so I kept dancing and stuff.
On the way home, I checked facebook and there was a status from mama posted about 5 minutes before I got on. It said Daddy had coded in the ICU. For you non-medical speaking people, like me who had to google it, it means his heart completely stopped. Scary stuff. Naturally, started crying again. Vince was driving from Birmingham, so he just held my hand the whole way home and kept reassuring me it'd be ok. I texted mom and she said he was ok, but scared the nurses. It was so hard to sleep that night. I went to bed around 3 am, but kept waking up every hour or so, and would check my text messages and facebook, just to make sure nothing bad had happened. I was exhausted when I woke up.
So, on Sunday around 10 am, me and Vince headed back to Chilton County to visit his family and make a hospital visit. Since visiting hours weren't open yet, we went to eat lunch with his family at Golden Corral, then went by the hospital to see Daddy. When we got there, he was laid down in his bed with tons of packets of crackers. He perked up when he saw us, and lifted his bed up to talk to us. (almost cried again when I saw him perk up). He was definitely back to himself, minus the numerous bruises and wires attached to him. My aunt, uncle and cousin came while we were there, so we talked to them for awhile. And daddy says the funniest things. He informed me the only reason we got 3rd place in ADX parents weekend was because he was about to have a heart attack. (smh) So, we stayed awhile, then headed to Vince's house to update them on his condition.
Today, he was released from ICU, got a normal room, and hopefully gets to come home tomorrow. I am overwhelmed with the amount of texts, facebook posts, and love and prayers we've received through this. Heart attacks are no joke. I was terrified. It definitely made me appreciate what I have and how easily it could be taken away. I'm so thankful Daddy is alive and doing better.
I also realized how blessed I am to have people that care so much about me. Vince, Julia, Kelsey, Megan, Morgan, Skyler, ect. My list could go on and on. But, I've never felt so much love and prayers. Whether it be taking me to lunch, or just a text saying "I'm praying for you". I am truly grateful for amazing people, and this just continues to prove my friends are the BEST in the world, and can't be replaced.
I'll end on a happy note. So, here's some pictures from formal... :)
Daddy's medical history isn't exactly the best. He has such a weak immune system. So, I got a text Saturday around noon from Madison (my real sister) that just said "Called 911. Dad having chest pains". I didn't think much of it at first, since hospital visits are a frequent thing for him. So, I called Mama cause usually 911 isn't involved. She sounded calm, but just said Daddy was weed eating and came inside and fell to the floor with chest pains. Everyone was asleep, except Sawyer. Thankfully, Sawyer woke mama up, because apparently it was bad. So, anyways, Mama cut me off short cause the ambulance got there, but she told me it was probably a heart attack, and she'd call me later. I hung up with her.
A heart attack? That was not expected. I immediately burst into tears. I had sent Vince a text that said what happened, so he came over to console me. I was hysterical. (Props to my awesome roomie, Julia, for the spontaneous hug and making me laugh when it happened) Vince finally calmed me down, and I continued to text Madison about updates. She sent me a few pictures of Daddy on a stretcher, which is so typical of her. So, to get my mind off of things, bless his heart, Vince took me to eat Chinese and get some sweets. We got Chinese to go and ate at his house, and then Madi called me. She said it was a heart attack and it was bad. I started crying again. Vince hugged me til I stopped and kept reminding me people have heart attacks all the time, and he'd be ok.
Since formal was that night, I figured I was probably gonna miss it and be at the hospital. Mom texted me around 2, and said "don't miss formal...have fun. Dad will be ok." If anyone knows my mom, you can't really argue with her. I then sent an email to my ADX sisters telling them what happened and not to bring it up at formal. I didn't want people to worry about how I was and not have fun. So, with the help of Julia, I fixed my hair and makeup and all the formal stuff. I couldn't help but worry about what was happening to Daddy. I was obsessively checking Mama's facebook to see if there were any updates about what was going on, but there wasn't really anything. So, we went to formal. I had a blast. Of course, I couldn't help but check my phone, but nothing new, so I kept dancing and stuff.
On the way home, I checked facebook and there was a status from mama posted about 5 minutes before I got on. It said Daddy had coded in the ICU. For you non-medical speaking people, like me who had to google it, it means his heart completely stopped. Scary stuff. Naturally, started crying again. Vince was driving from Birmingham, so he just held my hand the whole way home and kept reassuring me it'd be ok. I texted mom and she said he was ok, but scared the nurses. It was so hard to sleep that night. I went to bed around 3 am, but kept waking up every hour or so, and would check my text messages and facebook, just to make sure nothing bad had happened. I was exhausted when I woke up.
So, on Sunday around 10 am, me and Vince headed back to Chilton County to visit his family and make a hospital visit. Since visiting hours weren't open yet, we went to eat lunch with his family at Golden Corral, then went by the hospital to see Daddy. When we got there, he was laid down in his bed with tons of packets of crackers. He perked up when he saw us, and lifted his bed up to talk to us. (almost cried again when I saw him perk up). He was definitely back to himself, minus the numerous bruises and wires attached to him. My aunt, uncle and cousin came while we were there, so we talked to them for awhile. And daddy says the funniest things. He informed me the only reason we got 3rd place in ADX parents weekend was because he was about to have a heart attack. (smh) So, we stayed awhile, then headed to Vince's house to update them on his condition.
Today, he was released from ICU, got a normal room, and hopefully gets to come home tomorrow. I am overwhelmed with the amount of texts, facebook posts, and love and prayers we've received through this. Heart attacks are no joke. I was terrified. It definitely made me appreciate what I have and how easily it could be taken away. I'm so thankful Daddy is alive and doing better.
I also realized how blessed I am to have people that care so much about me. Vince, Julia, Kelsey, Megan, Morgan, Skyler, ect. My list could go on and on. But, I've never felt so much love and prayers. Whether it be taking me to lunch, or just a text saying "I'm praying for you". I am truly grateful for amazing people, and this just continues to prove my friends are the BEST in the world, and can't be replaced.
I'll end on a happy note. So, here's some pictures from formal... :)
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| Julia :) the amazing roommate! |
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| Vince, me, Megan, and AJ :) |
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| Me and Vince at formal! |
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| Fabulous E-board :) |
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| Some of my pledge class :) |
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| My pi babies :) |
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