let her cry

After crying some, for no reason.

How freakin depressing of a blog entry is that? "Let her cry". It's a song by Hootie and the Blowfish. It's so true. I mean, nothing bad has happened today to me. I just feel like I need to cry. And guys, here's some advice...when a girl says she just needs to cry for no reason, just hug her and well, let her cry.


Isn't that so weird? Sometimes we cry, just because. No particular reason other than you just need to.

Baaaaa

First news: Our pledges are now JA's :) I'm so excited for them! Andddd me, along with my lovely Xi pledge sisters, are now officially active members of ADX! Hoooray! I'm constantly reminded of how blessed I am to have found such wonderful women of Christ to call my sisters and my best friends!


Anyways, enough cheesiness. I hate group projects. So much. I have one for interpersonal communications tomorrow. Ahhhh. At least I only have to do the bibliography and talk for like 2 minutes. :)
Ok, I can't make up my mind on what I wanna talk about. Hmm, this weekend. It was fun. Friday, we had an alumni dinner thing and then I went out with the boys. lol, my usual weekend thing. Then Saturday, I went to Vince's to pick him and AJ up for the game and Vince flipped me COMPLETELY upside down behind his couch. :( Not cool. Bama vs Tennessee was awesome. So crunkkk. Ahh, I'm in no mood to type correctly...adios!!

Gone.

Gone - the lyrics say it all. That's all I'm gonna say.

STRESSSSS

I usually handle stress pretty well. I don't let it show that I'm stressed and I am pretty under control. But yesterday, I completely broke down from stress. I have such a busy week. Speech due tomorrow, just started today. Initiation week for our baby lambs. Group project for another class. Just everything is finally happening at once. I went so long being really content and not extremely busy to just being bombarded by school. Last night, I had chapter. Like usual. The group project was meeting at 8:30, I got out of chapter by  9:20, ran across the quad in 4 inch heels and through sprinklers, btw, only to get told they were done meeting and I have to do the outline since I can't ever meet. Uhhhh. I ran for nothing. And they are meeting on another day when I can't meet. Awesome. The rest of the group was on the way leaving when I got there and while passing them they gave such mean looks to me. I can't help I was busy and I even told them before they planned this. So, anyways, while I waited for Vince to pick me up on the steps of Phifer, I felt tears come to eyes. Wait, why am I crying? I don't cry for nothing. As I sat and thought why was I crying? I came to the solution, I was extremely stressed. And the fact I haven't cried in so long probably factored in too. So, when Vince got me, I just broke down in tears, venting to him and God bless him, he listened and tried to help me. Even made me a cheeseburger, Such a sweet man :)


Anyways, today was slightly stressful as well. I made a plan I was gonna clean my room after class, do homework, then work on my speech. I ended up skipping literature because my head hurt. But, I'm happy to report that after some deep prayer with God, my room is clean and I'm done with my speech. :) It's amazing what happens when you let God take control.

Things I Don't Understand.

I need to vent a little. Some things people post via facebook/twitter/whatever, just don't make sense to me at all. Things from love and relationships just to random quotes people post. I mean, honestly, some just aren't true at all. Let me give you examples...


1. "You know the relationship is old when the "I" is taken out of "I love you".
-Not necessarily true. Me and Vince say "love you" alot. It doesn't mean our relationship is getting old or we're getting tired of each other. It could mean we're on the phone and it's just a quick casual "love you". Or say, you're extremely tired and you just forget the "I". I think the "I" is really implied. The fact that the word "love" is still being used is a good indicator they're still into you and not getting tired of you or it's "old".


2. "I don't have an attitude problem, you just can't handle my personality."
-To the person who posted this one, I'm pretty sure it's that you have an attitude problem.


3. "Friendship is not capable of ending, for if it ends, it's only because it never existed."
-Nope. Not true at all. If it never existed, then you wouldn't have called it a FRIENDSHIP ending. I can't really explain in words my feelings on this one because I'm terrible at phrasing, but I'll leave it at this...it's possible to have had a true, blue friendship and it end. It did exist. 


Anyways, I could go on and on, but I'm sleepy. Adios.

iTired

So, it's 1:41 AM currently as I am typing and guess where I am...outside. At the AT&T store. Waiting for the new iPhone for Vince. It's about 55 degrees and we are legit in a line outside in lawn chairs. Katie and Zach just went to get sunflower seeds and a bathroom break, Vince is cat napping beside me, and I'm typing my blog. We ate Taco Bell and are pulling an allnighter, because the store doesn't open until 8 AM. That's right...7 hours from now. If this isn't true college life, I'm not sure what is. True friendship is what it is. I have class at 9 AM, so no sleep is gonna equal a very sleepy/delusional Lauchlan. Awesome.

Count Your Many Blessings

"Too Blessed to Be Stressed"

Mi familia in Belize.

That statement above is my new motto. Think about it, it's so true. If you're reading my blog, you're more blessed than over half the world to even have computer/internet access. I often forget how merciful and loving my God truly is to me. He blessed me with an amazing family who supports me in whatever I do. He blessed with me with awesome friends that I can literally trust with my life. He blessed with me a phenomenal boyfriend who is also my best friend and helps me be a better person. He blessed with me a good education. He blessed me with a non violent childhood. He blessed me with a roof over my head. HE BLESSED ME.

My handsome man.

I could go on and on about what all I have, but don't deserve. I sometimes and most of the time wish I had more or different things in my life. God automatically slaps me in the face and says, "well Lauchlan, is what I gave you not sufficient?" It makes me think. He gave me more than enough. He gives more than I need, because I am His child and He wants the best for me. He does the same thing when I start to think I am having a bad day. At least I am crying and feeling bad inside a warm apartment. At least I have something to stuff my face with when I'm sad. It's mindbloggling what God can show you when you get over yourself and focus on Him.

My girls. <3 minus Kelsey and my big, Brooke.

That's all my thoughts for tonight. Just I am happy with what God has given me and the people He sent me. :)

Be Still

Today has been so overwhelming. Not really today as a whole, but tonight. I love helping people with their problems and listening. I feel like that's one of my strengths, is that I am a good listener. There's only one problem...I think I am too compassionate. (At lack for better words) Like, when I listen to people's problems, I feel their pain. I don't know why I do, and I don't try to, but fact of the matter is that I do. Usually, it isn't much of a problem, because I only have one person at a time talking to me about a certain problem. But tonight, I feel like it was one after the other asking me for advice. Which, don't get me wrong, I am MORE than happy to help and listen, but my heart has a hard time handling it. For instance, one situation my friend and her boyfriend were having space issues. I've been there before, I felt the pain in her shaking voice while she was telling me what was happening. Then she said she was having second thoughts about what she wants to do with her life. Again, I can relate. (refer to previous blog) Another girl was telling me about how her boyfriend is lying to her. Not that I have really experienced that lately but I have experienced it before. While reading her texts, I felt her pain. And a few months ago, a friend told me she had an abortion and her ex boyfriend abused her. I literally cried.


I don't know why I am all of a sudden feeling so bad about other people's problems. I almost feel it's my duty to solve their problems when they come to me, and if I don't give them the right advice and something goes wrong, it's my fault and I let them down. That is something I HATE. Letting people down. I don't know why I am so upset though. I really can't explain it. I was on the phone with Vince a second ago and I think I offended him because I said I didn't really wanna talk to him about this right now. But I honestly don't know what to say. He asked why I was upset, and I really honestly don't know. I guess I haven't really gotten upset in a while so it's been building up and now with everyone else having burdens, it's tipped me over the edge. While I would NEVER show this weakness in person, my heart breaks for my friends when they are hurting. I wish I could help them. I wish I could fix it. I pray for God to fix it.


It's not my place to play God and be the "Wonderful Consoler". I know that. THe verse that keeps crossing my mind tonight is the one in the picture above. Psalm 46:11. Be still and know I am God. I have to quit worrying and know God is still the Almighty God that He has always been and everything will be ok for my friends.

¿en serio?

Wow. People can be so rude and mean sometimes. That is all.

¿lo que está mal conmigo?

As I've stated before...I'm not a health freak. But for the past 2 days I've wanted to eat salad. I HATE salad. But I can not seem to get enough of it now. WEIRD. I need to go back to normal asap.


This week has drug on. It's ONLY Wednesday. (bite of salad) So depressing. It should be a fun week, since it's Homecoming. But it hasn't really been, lol. Yesterday, I made 24 cupcakes to bring to ADX's powderpuff game against ZTA, and then the game got cancelled. So I am stuck with ten thousand cupcakes! Ruby said they were good so if you want one, swing by and grab one! (bite of salad) And I forgot to do my online spanish homework yesterday. I remembered at 1:23 this morning...it was due at midnight. And I am finally going to pomp this afternoon. I wish I could have already done it, but this is my first free opportunity to go. (bite of salad) I'm not sure why I'm telling you when I am eating my salad, but deal with itttt.


I haven't really had any great "God moments". Not to say I haven't been looking for them, but God just hasn't smacked me in the face with anything mindblowingly awesome in a while. Be on the lookout, it's bound to come! (bite of salad, actually a huge fork full) OHHHH!!! Donny is back in US soil! Praise God!!! :) Ok, well I'm going to get ready for my big, Brooke to come over for cupcakes! Pray for her by the way, she's going through a rough time right now. Laterrrrr






8:18 pm

I decided to write again...I've been pomping all afternoon, then went to class. It wasn't too bad. I have 5 more hours to do before I'm done, so I'll get the rest done tomorrow. :) Btw, I "madeover" myself...bahahaha...I try to make it look natural. I don't think it's natural but whatevs, it's fun.

ella trabaja duro por el dinero

Jobs. Money. Careers. AHHHH. Scary words at my young age of 19. But, even at this age, I'm so blessed to already have what I wanna do figured out. I know for a fact that I want to work in entertainment/communications. I just feel like that's where I belong. I've been experimenting with exactly what field to go into though. Honestly, it's slightly stressing me out. I don't know whether I wanna be in front of the camera, behind the camera or work in radio. (which is completely different). The only reason I am stressing so much is college. If I major in the wrong thing, then switch, that's like 10 billion more (different) classes I have to take. And my scholarship only lasts me 5 years... :/

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

 -Matthew 6:34

Easier said than done, right? But, even though I am too worried about something I don't really have to decide until next year, I know it's all gonna be ok. I have hope and confidence that God will lead me into the right career path. Whether it's radio or tv, or even (hopefully not) something completely different. 

Jeremiah 29:11 - God has a plan. He has a solution to my problem, and He will ultimately guide me to where I need to be. So comforting :)

trabajo, muchacha

To your left would be how I feel about working out, eating vegetables, or anything to do with being healthy. A face of humorous disgust. It's not that I hate being healthy, but as the old saying goes..."don't fix it, if it ain't broke". I am not the tiniest girl in the world by no means. But I'm not the fattest. I'm actually very comfortable and happy with my body shape, weight, image. So I never really feel a need to try to lose weight or tone up. But randomly the other night, I could not sleep for the life of me. So, I had a sudden thought that I was getting fat and got the urge to work out and do late night random dancing and zumba. Not only did it remind me why I don't do it, but it did nothing to show it had helped me "lose weight" or "get me in shape". Here are some results of this rare time...

The before face...very enthused and excited to do some late night body sculpting.

The During...feeling pretty pumped and beastlike. 

And the after.... exhausted and still no results. 

By the last picture, it had exhausted me enough to go to sleep. So, at least working out served some purpose, right?