Slackin, but this is pointless.

I've totally been slacking on this blog....I blame my lack of efficient internet in good ole Jemison. ANyways, here's what's been going on since Christmas...


Sunday (Christmas!): I woke up extremely early. I think it was from excitement, which doesn't make sense, because when I was younger, I used to be hard to wake up on Christmas morning. Anyways, me and Sawyer were anxious to get in the living room, but had to wait FOREVERRRR on Madison to wake up and put her contacts in. So, we finally got to open presents. I had been hoping for the new iPhone 4S, since I had such a crappy phone that worked 40% of the time. Everytime I mentioned it, mom laughed and said in my dreams...Well, I got down to two presents, both the size of shoeboxes, and I told mom, "I've given up hope on my iPhone." I opened a box, shoes. Cute shoes, but not my phone. Low and behold, the last present held my new iPhone 4! It's not a 4S, like I wanted, but beggars can't be choosers. After about an hour of presents and comparing what all we got, we went to church. There weren't a lot of people there, which really surprised me, because I mean, well, it is a celebration of our Savior's birth. I sat with Kelsey and Wesley and I really enjoyed the service. After church, we headed to Aunt Brenda's house where I ate so much potato soup and ham, and played with Evie and John. Overall, it was a great day full of food, fun, and remembrance of Jesus' birth. :)


Monday: I ate lunch with Skyler and went to Walmart with her. As soon as I got home, I accompanied Mom and Madison to Target, I bought orange juice and cough drops (because Madison AND John were both sick Christmas) and then we got Icees. 


Tuesday: I woke up with my throat hurting, so I took down 2 cough drops. I finally got to see Vince for the first time in a week (he'd been in FL with family for Christmas). He got me Taco Bell, then went to play basketball with the boys. And since I got drug into going, he gave me money and his car to get an Icee ;) We went back to his house afterward and watched Jackass until I got sleepy and left.


Wednesday (TODAY): Well, I got absolutely no sleep. Between the raging headache and lack of breathing out of my nose, it was miserable. I woke up at 10 am, fell back asleep at 11, woke back up at 2. I found out me and mom both have sinus infections (thanks Madison). I finally got Vaporrub for tonight, so I can sleep in peace. :) Then, me, Vince, and our friends Tyndall and Cody went to eat Mexican and iceskating. Then, back to Vince's for That's 70s Show. I was starting to get miserable again, so I am now home, high on cold medicine and about to sleep heavenly with my Vapor Rub. :)


Thanks for reading about my pointless week, haha. Tomorrow I get Cheesecake Factory with my boy! He's precious! Hope everyone had a GREAT Christmas!!!

Hang in There

I hate what the world has become. It's even scary to think about. Murders. Homosexuality. Polygamy. Drugs. Rape. Politics. Hate. The world we live in is terrifying. God did not intend for His beautiful creation to turn out this way. But it is. SIN is why. It started with Adam and Eve. And it ends with us. God is real, and God is coming to save His people. Some people get freaked out thinking the Rapture is getting closer and closer. Not me. I have hope. I have faith. I have Jesus. And I, for one, can't wait to go Home. So, fellow believers, hang in there. He's coming.

Finals

Well, finals week is halfway over for me, and I have to say so far I'm quite pleased. I've taken 3 of my 5, and now have to wait til Thursday night at 7 pm to take my next one. I continue to be reminded that I am so blessed that I go to THE University of Alabama. One of the top schools for my major. And one of the best schools in the country.


Anyways, as weird as it seems, I'm not really ready for Christmas break. I mean, I'm ready for Christmas, but I don't wanna leave Tuscaloosa. I have so many friends here and hate that I won't get to see them for like a month. :( Luckily, Vince is having a tacky Christmas party for our little group (Zach, Katie, AJ, Garin) on Friday, so that is motivation to make it through the week. It will be fun hanging out with my best friends but kinda sad that Saturday I'm going back home...to Chilton County. While there's a few people and things I wanna see and do (Kelsey, Skyler, Jordy, Madi, Hickory Chip, San Marcos), I'm really dreading going back. It's not that I don't appreciate the place that basically raised me, but I'm in a different stage in my life now. Chilton County doesn't have enough opportunity for me.


SPEAKING OF WHICH, your girl is applying for an internship over the summer with Wake Up Alabama. Can't wait! Getting closer and closer to my dream of anchoring. :)

Blast from the Past

If my post rubs you the wrong way or offends you, I apologize but this is my blog. Don't like it, don't read it. I'm just gonna be blunt and honest...


I am in one of the saddest moods I've been in inawhile. I was creeping on Facebook, as usual. I was looking at one of my old friend's profile pictures. I started looking at all the pictures...she was beautiful. I almost started tearing up though...because it's almost like I didn't recognize her. Needless to say, it's not her fault we aren't close anymore, but it made me sad we weren't. Then it got me thinking...I'm not really friends with anybody that I was in high school. I had my group in high school. There was about 5 of us, we were all really close, and did everything together. Sleepovers, hanging out, cheerleading, ect. We were part of each other's families. We planned our weddings and children together. We were going to be best friends forever. 


Then after graduation, I kind of got "shunned" from the group, if you will. They stopped inviting me to events. They stopped texting and calling me. They stopped being my friend. The main reason most of them did is because there was a bunch drama when Vince started liking me. (which me and said people BOTH handled that situation wrong.) There was all kinds of miscommunication, but the way everyone acted towards me when it happened made me really depressed. I was thinking of ways to fix everything, so that everyone was happy. I even expressed I would change stuff for them to not be mad at me. It didn't matter. Even though "everything was cool between us", I could still feel the tension and the unwantedness. The fact that I was trying to mend the broken friendships, but they were still rejecting me and not putting in an effort to fix it. It honestly made me mad. After 3 months of trying to win my friends back, I decided it wasn't worth it. They were all gonna stay friends and leave me out. I tried to act like it didn't bother me and I was perfectly fine on my own. But I wasn't. They were my girls. I didn't really have any other friends. They were all I had and they were gone. The week before everyone left for college, I got super depressed because I kept seeing pictures and status updates with my group of friends hanging out and having going away parties. I wasn't invited. I'm pretty sure I wasn't even missed.


Luckily, as fate had it, college introduced me to a completely different group of girls. My life long best friends. God knew I needed a close knit group of girls in my life to keep me sane and to rely on. He knew to fix my broken heart, I needed ADX. They taught me to trust again and how to have girlfriends again. 


Now, don't get me wrong, I am in no way mad at or hate my old friends from high school now. I didn't write this blog to call anyone out or make anyone feel bad. I also don't wanna make y'all think bad of these girls, because they are truly awesome people and they were the best friends I could have asked for to experience high school with. I simply want to tell my feelings right now. I was really upset for a long time, and it took me up until recently to fully forgive them in my heart. But that's the awesomeness of God. He heals your heart and makes it possible to forgive. I wrote this blog just to express that I do miss them, even after everything that happened between all of us. We went through so much together. A lot of firsts. First football games, first kisses, first dates, first cars, proms, ect. It just makes me sad we couldn't extend the memories past Jemison High School. 

Study

So, tomorrow is the start of finals week and I, naturally, am procrastinating by baking cupcakes and hanging out with some of my sisters. They're great! And here's my shoutout to Casey, aka Ice-T! Haha, she's a devoted and loyal follower of my blog and it warms my heart to know she religiously reads my random posts! So thanks Casey, for being motivation to keep writing!


Anyways, finals start tomorrow. I have one everyday except Wednesday, and two tomorrow. :/ AHHH. I feel like I'm prepared but I also feel I need to study...mixed emotions. Ha, anyways, got cupcakes to bakeeee. ADIOS!

Things Will Change

Change kills. It's just one little word, but it makes everything different.

Even those of us who resist change, will someday have to face it. It happens subconsiously anyways, all the time. It's funny how you can look back, and remember everything, but have no way to return to it. No matter how many times you convince yourself that that certain thing or a certain person will never change, it will end up changing. I don't mean to be a pessimist, but look around you...everything is changing. It hurts. Change hurts. If anybody ever tells you that it doesn't, be my guest and tell them to shove it. But, I've come to realize that we need it. Without it, where would we be? Who would we be? Exactly. We wouldn't. It sucks though, just how bad it hurts. The hardest part is the letting go, the releasing. Sometimes I don't even think it's physically possible... 

Jealousy

****Sorry I've been slacking on my blogging...it's Dead Week, and I have indeed been dead. Anyways, I felt like I needed to post this, not sure why, just felt the tug on my heart to post something about my past and current struggles. Hope it helps!

"For I can see that you are full of bitter jealousy and are held captive by sin." -Acts 8:17

I'm a jealous person. I've ALWAYS been a jealous person. It's by no means something I am proud of and it's something I really struggle with everyday. Ever since I was a little kid. I'd be the girl who would get mad (upset/disappointed/ect.) when someone was picked over me in a game. I also was the one who got mad at another girl if the boy I liked didn't like me and liked her instead. The only difference between then and now is that then, jealousy was just the start of a bad habit, and now it can get me in a lot of unnecessary drama and hurt. And not necessarily jealousy in my relationships with other people, but just jealousy in general. 

I realize that envy is a sign of immaturity and insecurity. Which, hello, I'm 19 years old, I'm not fully mature yet: spiritually, emotionally (or physically for that matter). And as for insecurity, I believe deep down, everyone is guilty of being insecure about something or another at some point in his or her lives. Maybe it's because they don't feel good enough for someone or something, so they feel a need to "hate" on the people they do feel are good enough. And, we really shouldn't feel that way. Or maybe they don’t have something that’s as cool or as cute as another person. Something I have lost sight in the past is that it doesn't matter whether or not you're good enough on Earth. Yeah sure, maybe the boy you likes picked the girl with the better body over you. So what? "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." - John 3:16. Guess what? God thinks you're good enough. He thinks you're so good in fact, He sent His only son to die for us. I don't have any kids, but I'm pretty sure sending my son to die for filthy sinners like us would be the last thing I'd want to do.

Something else I've realized while reflecting on my jealousy issue is that the world isn't gonna stop for you and most people aren't going to change their ways to accommodate you or your feelings. Most of the time, people don't care if something makes you jealous or not, they'll continue to do it anyway. As much as I wish it wasn't true, there's only two ways to fix the issue. You can either A) continue to stay a jealous person and (as the Bible says) let it literally rot you and your body or B) Suck it up and seek God to help you.

I’ve chosen the latter of the options, and honestly, it’s helped me SO much. Not even lying. God has given me insight, patience, and even other people to deal with my jealousy. Even though people may not notice a huge noticeable difference right away, over the past few months, I’ve definitely noticed a vast difference in my attitude and relationships with other people. Jealousy is very common, yes, but when I start to ponder on this issue, it really is pointless. Without being (as) jealous, I have been happier and all aspects of my relationships have been 100x better. Now, not to say I’m completely over this, by any means. But, through Christ and some wonderful friends who keep me sane, I am working everyday to become better with it.

And that ladies and gentlemen, is God once again redirecting my focus on Him. He really does work in mysterious ways. :)